Janine plunked herself down onto the bench beside her girlfriend, Meredith, her blood boiling. She could feel the heat in her face as she thought about the words she'd had with her mother a short time ago.
"What's wrong?" Meredith asked, seeing her friend's face.
"It's my mother again. She does nothing but criticize me. I can't do anything to please her. I thought it would be better when I moved out on my own. But it's not."
"I thought my mother was critical but I think yours does take the prize. What did she do this time?"
"I stopped by to say hello because it's been a couple of weeks since I've been there. Was she glad to see me? No! She pounced on me with, 'Well, you finally managed to find some time in your busy life to come and visit your father and I."
"What did your father say?" Meredith asked.
You know my Dad. He's always trying to smooth the waters. If it was just him, I'd go over more often. Dad always says nice things to me - he's a builder-upper kind of person. He doesn't try to shred me into little bits every time he sees me." Janine ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "I'd love to have a mother like yours, Meredith."
"We have our problems occasionally too. Yesterday she said, 'I love how you're wearing your hair today, Meredith. It's much nicer than how you had it a few days ago.' It wasn't a terribly bad thing to say. I guess you could call it kind of a left-handed compliment."
"What did you say when she said that?"
"I just laughed and said I like your hair better today too. It's much nicer than last week. But you know my mom, she never changes her hairstyle. I think she's worn the same style since the day she got married. She laughed too."
"I guess part of it is you handle things differently than I do. My mother is more critical than yours but I react to her rather than just letting things roll off me, like you do. I'd hate to think that my mother and I have similar personalities. That would be a scary thought. Expecially if I thought I would treat my own daughter like she treats me."
"I think we can be who we want to be. You already know you don't want to be like your mom, so you can work towards not being that way."
"Yeah, I guess. I try not to react when she says hurtful things to me, but it's hard. Two weeks ago when I was over there, I had only just come in the door and she said, 'Janine, what are you wearing? That looks awful on you. It's far too short and it makes you look dumpy'."
"Wow, that's a tough one. What did you say?"
"I said, 'That's it, I'm leaving. I get nothing but criticism from you. I don't know why I ever come over here. You are the biggest reason I left, Mother.' My dad heard the shouting and came to see what was going on. He looked at me and came over right awway to give me a hug and said, 'It's nice to see you, Sweetheart. You are always the highlight of my day.' That's the difference between my mother and father."
"Let's go and get a cup of tea," Meredith said as she took her friend's arm. "I could use one and from the sounds of it, I think you could too. How do you think Josh will get along with her after the two of you are married?"
"That fiasco has already started. She has made it clear that she doesn't like Josh."
"What doesn't she like about him? Everyone likes Josh; there's nothing not to like. In fact he reminds me of your father, very easy-going."
"She said he's not a go-getter and he'll never amount to anything and I'll probably have to support us for the rest of our lives. I told her he had a good job and she just grunted. You know the way she has of doing it that can be so infuriating. Now she said she knows a good place for us to have our wedding and reception. She wants a big extravaganza with all of her friends. We want it small, just family and our close friends."
"Why is she so into the wedding planning when she doesn't like Josh?"
"I guess she figures marrying Josh is inevitable and she wants to put her stamp on it and be the 'mother of the bride' in a big way. She's driving us crazy." ...
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